| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|01:08 am] |
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Dear Luke,
Change back,
Change back to that amazing boy
that I used to know.
Talk to me again.
Please Luke,
I need you.
I miss you so much.
</3Cassie |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2006|11:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  imissyou</3 | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You're My Best Friend. </3 | ] |
It just occured to me how old this username is. Part of me wants to change it. The other part is like "fuck it, you've had this since 6th grade." haha. Oneee dayyy. No one reads this thing anymore anyway.
Courtney took pictures of me.
My friends are the bestt. Rich & Katee. =]
And thisss is my love. <333
Bert McCracken<333
I miss this boy, </3
[Error: unknown template 'video']
Sooo much. :'( :'( :'( |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2006|12:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | UnderOath. | ] |
Hmm, today me, Courtney, Matt and Brett were bored.. sooo I did Matt and Brett's makeup, and we all took pictures. Haha, it was funnn.
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|12:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
There are no words that can even describe how i feel right now.
He's fucking everything to me, and idk what to do anymore. seeing him again made everything worse.
I dont know what happened. He was my best friend. We trusted eachother with everything. We were always together. And now hes gone.
I cant see myself making it much farther without him. </3
(all of these pics are either taken by me.. or im in them)
  
Luke Darnell<3 Iloveyousomuch. I loved you the minute i met you. Right when i met you i knew you were different. I knew that no one i have ever met or will meet in a long time could even come close to comapring to you.. and i was right. Your the most unique and awesome person in the world. You could make me smile without even saying a word to me. I was never ever happier than when i was friends with you. You seriously are everything i've ever wanted in a guy. Your so far beyond amazing. Everything about you is perfect, everything. Your eyes, your hair, your smile, your name, your voice, your crazy laugh, the way you could be the most gorgeous boy in the entire world.. and still have no self confidence, your stupid pickup lines, the way you always had to be right, the way you would try so hard to beat my score on karioke revolution.. and you'd sing "your my best friend" over and over again and scream at the tv when you lost, the way "all your music was the best and all mine sucked" and there was no arguing, the way you obsess over ozzy, the way you had all your bizzare habbits and things you would do, the way when you wanted someting and i would say no you would make the puppy dog face at me.. or if you wanted something but someone was around and you were too shy to say it.. so you would make hand signals or mouth the words, the way you would annoy every one of my friends so bad.. but never once annoy me, the way you would get so embarrased when your mom would talk to me, the way you would make me take a million "photoshoots" of you, the way you could stand the pain of piercing any part of your body and laugh at me when i got grossed out, the way you would make fun of me when you realized you were being too nice, the way you can go days without showering or washing your hair.. but still smell amazing and never look bad, the way the only time your hair got brushed was when you asked me to do it for you, the way you would say "who needs a shower when you have a bottle of axe!", the way you have an apperence that immediatly makes people think your mean and scary.. but your the complete opposite, the way your pockets were always filled with the weirdest crap.. like a stuffed bunny.. a hairbrush ect, The way you hated people putting eyelibner on you... but you always let me put it on you, the way i always made fun of your hair being greasy and knotty.. so id have to chase you around my house.. but finally you let me brush it if i promised not to hurt you. the way you would tell everyone your real name was Lucifer, the way you would say "im 18 and my hair is black", the way you would call me out of no where every day and make me stay on the phone for hours & then hang up on me and call back and yell at me for not calling you back, the way you would just show up at my house.. and even if i wasnt home you would stay and hang out with my mom until i got back, the way you ALWAYS wanted to hang out with me no matter how late it was, the way you would get crazy ideas and expect me to go along with them, the way i had to train myself to walk as fast as you to keep up with you every day.. and the way your hair bounces when you walk, the way you would wait outside my school for me every day until i got out.. rain snow.. it didnt matter.. you waited.. and we hung out every day, the way we could never stay mad at eachother no matter how hard we tried, the way that people thought of us together like we were one person.. if someone thought inviting me somewhere they just assumed you'd be with me.. and if someone was mad at one of us they were mad at both of us because we were ALWAYS on the same side of a fight, the way you actually cared about me more than any other boy did, the way you would get into your depressed mode and lay on my bed for hours, the way youd tell me a secret and say youd kill me if i told anyone, the way i could be so upset and feel like no one would listen to me.. but i knew that i could count on you to talk to me and make me feel better, the way it took you a year to even look at my mom, the way you would be so shy in a group of people you didnt know.. and only talk to me, the way even our families could tell their was something different and amazing between us, how a stupid two dollar bracelet that you got me for my birthday means the world to me, and most of all.. the way you dont even try.. but just hearing your voice or seeing your face can make my whole day better.. even if your not talking to me. I just cant believe we arent friends anymore.. For two years you have been my world and im lost without you now.. There is so much more i can say and there are so many more things about you that make you the most amazing person in the world.. i could go on listing things forever. You made me feel so complete. Every day i'd wake up happy.. just knowing i would see you.
What happened to the Luke I knew, to the boy I loved more than anything? It seems like you changed so much. I'd give anything to see your eyes light up when you smiled again.. I'd give anything to see you really happy again. I'd do anything to be her. I know we are never going to speak again, but you mean everything to me. I miss you.</3 |
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| awesome picture! |
[Sep. 15th, 2005|10:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | blink 182 - obvious | ] |
( this is gorgeous )
..Well since i'm here i might as well make a full update
hmm.. today was interesting.. school sucked as always..
im kinda happy though because i think im actually becoming real friend with Mike Spindler again :) .. he talks to me a lot now.. and we are in Italian together.. i dont like Italian..
after school i met up with Luke again.. and we walked to the library in the pouring rain.. the 12th grade Matt dude was at the library again.. he's pretty cool..
we all talked to Jenn.. it was very.. um.. fun? haha. we messed with her.. well Luke and Matt did.. Luke pretended he liked her and shit.. and he pretended to be horny.. haha it was soo fucking funny..
then the guy that Luke was scared of came again.. i should learn to trust Luke more.. i didnt believe him about that guy.. but he was telling the truth.. he came.. and was seriously looking at porn.. Matt was next to him.. and he was freaking out.. haha i cant even describe how funny that was.. we were IMing eachother and laughing hysterically while Matt was dying and praying he didnt get raped.. haha
then my mom came.. and i went to football.. hung out with Stefani.. and yeah..
i'm staying after again tomorrow and going to the library with Luke and Mike Costa.. yay. Then hopefully my mom is letting me go to the mall with Luke.. and idk if the Anthony dude.. or Matt are going.. idk we'll see..
bye |
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| partttttyyyy |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|10:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
im updating for the first time in sooooooooooooo long.
today was actually cool even though i thought it would suck. i went to my brothers football party.. it was at Taylor's house.. the house was soooooo big.. and they had this awesome 9 foot deep pool. im jealous
when we first got there i saw Logan, Cody (Logan's brother).. Mike Kavanaugh (Taylor's brother) and Shannon (Taylor's sister) in the pool. i immediatly thought 'i am NOT going in there' haha boy was i wrong. Logan saw me and said "you are comming in NOW" and i said "NO!" and he didnt care.. i ran.. lol.. him, Cody and Mike got out and dragged me half way across the back yard (haha and Cody and Mike are like only 10 years old). My brother helped them.. the whole time i was screaming.. and then i just sat down on the lawn.. Logan grabbed my feet and pulled me.. and either Cody or Mike wrapped their arms around me and dragged me some more.. i couldnt see which one of them it was.. it got kinda violent.. i ended up biting my brother once and Logan twice.. haha.. thats what they get.. then they gave up and i was happppyyyy... but Taylor came home and was bugging me to go in.. so finally i ended up just going in.. haha. throughout the day i ended up getting pushed in by Logan, Cody, Mike, and Anthony Anderson (another kid on Jay's team)..
I swear Cody is JUST like Logan.. he's so adorable though.. he got in a fist fight with some psycho kid Nick on the team.. actually he is this girl i knows brother (Krystal Ortiz).. she was there too. But we were all playing basketball.. and Nick kept pushing Cody.. finally Cody was just like "go ahead.. push me again" in that 'touch me again and ill kill you' voice.. so Nick pushed him again and Cody started punching him.. me and Taylor were like "woo go Cody!" and Logan went up to Nick and was like.. "dont ever touch my brother again" it was very interesting.. haha then i was talking to Cody.. and he was making fun of Nick.. kinda mean but Nick is creepy.. he kept staring at Nichole (cheerleader/Anthony Anderson's sister). and she was freaking out.
Anthony Racalbuto (Joe Racalbuto's brother/another kid on Jay's team) is halarious.. when we were playing basketball all of a sudden Anthony Scotto (another kid on the team) comes running out of the backyard..2 seconds Anthony Racalbuto comes running out screaming "where the hell is Scotto?!" we all pointed in the direction he went.. then Anthony Racalbuto comes back 2 seconds later and says "that fucking bastard went back in the backyard!" haha nice mouth for a 10 year old.. lol
Nichole is so funny.. she was dancing to random music.. and acting like one of those slutty dancing people.. shes only 8 years old.. haha
for the rest of the day i mostly just talked to Logan.. he's cool.. we like the same music now.. he likes My Chemical Romance.. woot.. he also likes The Click Five.. haha.. but he's mean because he hates Dave and Mike Spindler.. one conversation we had was interesing.. he's like.. "guess what.. im not gangster anymore" and i was like "oh really?" and he was like "yeah now im a prep" and i made a face at him... :-P haha.. after we got out of the pool Logans eyes were all hurting and shit from the chlorene or w/e.. he looked like he was crying.. and he was putting ice on them.. lol.. i was looking at his eyes trying to figure out what color they were.. i couldnt figure it out so i asked him.. and he said "well they are supposed to be green.. not red".. haha.. because they were all teary and red.. then Cody kept attacking me with ice.. and Taylor was being a spaz..
alrighty im doneee.. because im like almost passed out right now.. because i barely slept last night (thank you Sarah and Courtney :-P).. and then today was very.. tiring lol.. byeeee |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2005|12:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
no one uses livejournal anymore.. :( .. i love livejournal... oh well.. i guess this is my private journal now isnt it... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2005|11:28 am] |
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im bored again.. and on my computer some of the pics in my last entry didnt work.. so im putting them again.. im not sure if they showed up on your comp or not.. but they didnt on mine and it was annoying me.. lol
 this is the one where i said "Gerard looks funny"
 this is the one that said "Bert and Quinn"
 this one said "Quinn Allman"
 this one said "Quinn is so hot"
 this one said "Quinn"
yeah.. ok. lol
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| PICTURES!!! |
[Jul. 26th, 2005|10:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Used | ] |
 The Used <3
 The Used <3
 Bert and Gerard
 Bert and Gerard
 Bert and Gerard.. aww so cute
 Bert and Gerard
 haha Gerard looks funny...
 He is sooooo fucking hot
 This is my favorite picture if him
 he's so sexy
 hahaha
 aww
 Bert and Quinn
 Bert and Quinn
 Bert and Jeph
 Bert, Gerard, Mikey, Ray
 Gerard Way <3
 Gerard
 Mikey Way <3
 Mikey
 Mikey is so cute.
 Quinn Allman <3
 Quinn is so hot
 Quinn
 Jeph Howard <3
 Lots of Bert. Then one of Jeph.. Then a few of Quinn.. then another of Bert.. then one of Gerard.. then one of Mikey.. then two more of Gerard.
 hahaha i love Bert
 Gerard Way <3
Yeah i was bored so i decided to post some awesome pics of the most awesome people in the world... :-D hope you liked them. |
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| "can i have a cookie?" |
[Jul. 19th, 2005|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | korn | ] |
i <3 today very much. lol
me courtney and tiffani went to walmart...
we walked around for a while.. played with the music in the baby section.. and yeah..
then we got the bright idea to make tiffani go knock on mikes door.. and when he answerd she had to ask him for a cookie. she actually did it.
after a few minutes me and court went to his door too. they were talking.. he wasnt allowed to leave because he was grounded... but we stayed and hung out with him..
i dont think iv ever seen him look so adorable lol. he was in his pajamas.. these blue or green and black plaid pants.. i dont remember.. and a white tee-shirt.. and his mowhawk was all down and floppy..
we basically just talked for the whole time.. laughed a lot.. mike was mean to tiffani. whatever she diserves it. haha. it was funny though.. tiffani was like "cassie your being a bitch" and mike was like "no shes not" haha. me and courtney were laughing.. because tiffani was all mad.. i dont know why.. but mike was just making it worse by doing really funny yet mean things.. for example.. i dont remember what tiff was saying.. but it was something bitchy towards me and or courtney i think.. and mikes just like "tiffani shut up it will do us all a favor" and there was water on the table. and mike was writing random words with it.. like "asshole" and stuff.. then he wrote "cunt" and put an arrow pointing to tiffani.. she got really pissed.. i think youd have to be there.. but it was actually really funny. mike wanted me to help him shoot water gun things at them.. but i was a spaz and couldnt figure out how to work it..
yeah and we just talked some more.. and watched mike dip his head into his pool (which is the most awesome looking pool ever and it looked soo pretty) and get excited over mexican landscapers.. and break his basketball hoop.. and yeah..
it was cool.. i didnt think we'd actually end up hanging out.. but he seemed like he wanted us there.. i didnt think he would want us there.. soo yeah.. i dont feel like writing anymore.. lol..
today was very awesome :-D
byeee |
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| battle of the bands |
[Jul. 16th, 2005|04:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | avenged sevenfold | ] |
hey. yesterday was just so very awesome that i have to write about it.
me court and tiffani were going to go to the mall.. but we decided to go to battle of the bands instead. yay
ended up going with court, tiffani, sarah, kate and melissa. then joe came.. andy was there.. and so was tom. but im mad at andy and tom.
chris, james and this kid dj were there.. chris and james are really cool.
i saw marissa heinz.. shes very cool.
and the best person in the entire world was there. mike. at first i was planning on not talking to him.. i smiled at him.. he smiled at me.. then i walked away.. i WAS trying to get over him.. oh well.. that failed.. me and tiff went over to him.. and started talking to him. i actually hung out with him and i was happier then iv been in a while. just talking to him brings a smile to my face.. :) i love him
haha he was really funny.. tiffani asked dave if he was going out with danielle.. he is.. but it didnt seem like it.. and mike was like "put it this way.. dave treats her normally.. she worships the ground he walks on." and then she looked at him and gave him an evil look. he looked at me and tiffani and said "oh shit i said that loud didnt i?" lmao.
some of the bands were good.. cast in shadows played!!!!! i didnt get to hear much of them though because mike asked me and tiff to go to walmart with him and dave.. they wanted to get soda... whatever. it was fun though.. very very fun.. mike and dave beat the shit out of eachother.. lol.. when we were in the walmart parking lot mike did a summer salt.. lol.. hes so cute. him and dave got soda. and mike wouldnt let tiff have any.. haha. it was so fun to be with mike again. i missed him soooo much. i was kinda upset they left during cast in shadows.. but i wouldnt pass up time to be with him for the world. :)
yeah andy told me people were saying i went to walmart to smoke. what the fuck. i dont smoke. ever. and either does tiffani. i dont know if mike and dave still do but they didnt yesterday. and im really fucking pissed at whoever would say that because its fucking bullshit. if they payed any fucking bit of attention to me they would know i am completly against smoking. and i dont know why they would say that. :( ..just because i wanted to spend time with mike and not them doesnt mean they have to start fucking rumors. and i did want to be with them too.. but they didnt want to come to where we were standing so whatever.
i felt soo bad for anthony milano.. his girlfriends dad whent psycho on him.. and grabbed him by the neck.. and started screaming at him.. i felt soo bad.. anthony was crying and literally shaking.. this lady was really fucking pissed and called the cops on his gf's dad. i was kinda happy about that because he shouldnt have done that. but whatever
at the end i was talking to mike.. and people were around.. and tom and andy were being fucking assholes and being mean to mike.. i was so upset.. ill never forget the look on mikes face.. :( .. im soooooo fucking mad at tom and andy.. :(
then tiffani told mike i was ticklish.. grr.. mike kept tickling me after that.. and i hate being tickled.. mike was quite amused though.. i guess it was kinda funny..
oh god. im going to miss mike soo much for the rest of the summer. yesterday was def. the best day of the summer so far. i finally got to see mike.. i was sooo happy.. i dont think my friends like him though. i dont care.. he is really nice.. especially yesterday.. and hes so cool.. i love him soo much..
ok i gotta stop now..
bye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2005|02:50 pm] |
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dont mind this. im testing something. |
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| to grandmothers house we go |
[Jul. 5th, 2005|12:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
im going to my gandmas house for a few days with caitlin.
-waves-
see you all on thursday (i think) |
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| :'( |
[Jun. 25th, 2005|10:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lost | ] |
i seriously dont know what to do anymore... i love mike so much. and he is like in love with courtney. it all happened soo fast.. he told me he liked me YESTERDAY. how could that possibly change so fast.. just yesterday i was going out with him.. i cant go two seconds without crying again.. i dont know why he pretended he liked me again.. and i dont know why i believed him.. everyone keeps telling me just to get over him because he is an asshole..and that he isnt worth it.. but he is.. he is everything to me.. he is the only bf i ever had that i liked.. and i have never loved someone as much as him.. and i would do anything to have him back.. i miss him soo much.. i dont know what i ever did wrong.. and why he doesnt like me.. but right now i wish someone would just shoot me.. because i cant imagine my life without him.. and i just want to die...
</3 at least he looks really happy though </3
Thats all that matters right?
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|03:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
everything is just falling apart..
i feel like im losing everything i had...
i lost two of my best friends that i thought really cared about me.. shows how one little mistake can ruin a whole friendship..
i lost my boyfriend.. and he already is going out with someone else.. and i miss him so much.. and i just want him back :'(
i can already tell this summer is gunna suck so bad |
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| blah. |
[Jun. 24th, 2005|11:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing | ] |
its completely over between me and mike. :'(
xEviLxDeaD666: i made up my mind and i want to be single cause i like you and someone else..(not Danielle) thank god..but yeah..im sorry
..im sure he's real sorry.. uh huh.
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| chris!! |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|06:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
hey. well.. its before school.. and im bored.. so yeah..
im happy.. last night i decided to email chris dutchnowski and yell at him for what luke told me he said and stuff.. and he emailed me back saying he was sorry and he never said that about me.. and we talked for a while.. and now we are friends again.. :) .. yay. he isnt as bad as i thought he was.. and he actually wanted to be my friend too.. and he thinks that im the one who stopped talking to him.. he said he never hated me.. :) .. im sooo happy were friends again though because i did really miss him a lot.. and i hate losing good friends over stupid reasons..
and i miss mike.. i dont know whats going on with him anymore.. he swears he likes me though.. so i guess im just gunna wait and see what happens..
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| <3 |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|07:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
<3 I Love Mike Spindler So Much!!!!! <3 |
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| mall=awesome |
[Jun. 11th, 2005|01:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the used | ] |
hello.. last night=so0o0o great.. courtney explained it pretty good.. im just going to say some things she left out..
hmm.. well we saw chris dooshbag in sears.. yuuuuck..
me, sarah and courtney for a bit held hands and skipped through the mall.. it was fun..
we saw andy and rebekah
i talked to luke for most of the time.. idk why but he always ended up being right there.. soo yeah..
luke wanted to dance to get a cookie.. so he was going to get toilet paper to make fake boobs, put on make up and change his name to lucile.. haha..
we saw dylan eppers brother derek.. and he hugged us.. and was sad because we didnt remember him??? but yeah.. hes very cool.. and really nice.. a lot nicer then his brother.. yuck. then we alllll went into abercrombie.. and got kicked out within two minutes for praising willy?? yeah.. it was odd.. but the ladys a bitch..
we went into spencers where luke put the air conditioner in his shirt...
courtney explained this but we got a paper from the hot guy.. god he is sooo fucking hot.. :)
we saw other people.. like tanya and them.. we went outside..
then we came back in to go to the food court.. luke wanted sprite to fill his flask that he was presented with by some girl.. so i gave him a doller.. then we sat down and i watched him fill it.. sarah and courtney were looking for advil.. so i was talking to luke, willy and the dude in the red.. (i dont know his name).. then this guy who thought his hair was cool started SCREAMING at willy.. for no reason.. and willy got scared.. lol poor willy.. it was funnnny though.. then i talked to luke about random things.. and i found out that chris turned the WHOLE story around about what HE DID TO ME.. he told people that i made out with him, gave him a blow job and had sex with him.. WTF? asshole!! >:-O grrrrr.. i fucking hate him..
then my mom drove us home.. and in the car luke told me that mike was there but got in trouble for stealing a shirt from hot topic :'( .. i hope his mom didnt find out or ill like never see him :'( .. i love mike so much. yeahhh so i bacically just talked to luke and courtney about more random things the whole way home.. and we saw chris dooshbag running across middle country road.. i wish he got run over.. asssholeeeee...
then came home.. watched a bit of soul servivers with court.. saw it already so i went on the computer.. courtney left.. and i talked to my hawt friend tiffani on the phone for a while..
even with me and courtney explaining it we still didnt even come close to explaining how awesomely great last night was..
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